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When Caring Becomes Crippling
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When Caring Becomes Crippling

On confidence, anxiety and the 'Oscar effect.' Plus, 'The White Lotus' hotels, an award-snubbed film, and Thai/Vietnamese 🍌 eats.

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Anna Haines
Mar 02, 2025
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Hanoi, Vietnam last week.

There’s this scene in the premiere of the new season of The White Lotus I can’t stop thinking about. Spa manager Belinda (Natasha Rothwell) has returned from season one to participate in a worker-exchange program in Thailand. On her first night, shortly after sitting down for a solo dinner in the hotel restaurant, she notices a Black couple stroll in to be seated. Giving them a wave of recognition seems to boost her confidence, as she notes how profound it is to see Black people at the resort who “aren’t the staff.”

After staying at the resort where this scene filmed myself (I was in Thailand reporting on the show), I’m in Vietnam having the seventh massage I’ve had over the past 10 days. I’m ashamed to admit this, but when massages are as cheap as $10 USD an hour, why not get one everyday? My guilt is compounded by the colour of my skin, a shade that seems to change depending on the eyes of the beholder. I never get pedicures back home because I don’t like th…

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