There Are Fat People Starving Themselves
Atypical anorexia is actually, very, typical.
TW: Discussion of restrictive ED behaviors.
When I was 22, I biked over 10K to my full-time job during the day (occasionally sneaking in a lunch workout when I could) and care gave for my mom at night. I usually got no more than 5 hours of sleep. Despite this extremely stressful time, I was subsisting on a smoothie for breakfast, salad for lunch, a few deli slices and vegetables for dinner, and a bowl of fruit with a cookie before bed. This was also the period that I weighed the most I’ve ever weighed.
No one told me I was doing anything wrong. If anything my behavior—showing up to work with beads of sweat on my forehead and helmet in hand, saying no to the colleague’s birthday cake, always bringing my own lunch—was praised. I was “healthy.”
Fast forward six years. I’ve lost almost half of my total body weight. I’m on a waitlist for hospital inpatient. I’m given the official diagnosis of anorexia nervosa. I’m also eating more on a daily basis than…