Please No "Good Vibes Only"
On toxic positivity.
Last week it snowed. And not just a couple centimetres. We’re talking enough snow to make walking a block an exhausting hike. I noticed my anxiety was higher than normal that day, and quickly realized it was because the weather was forcing me to stay home. To stay home meant less distractions. I tried to busy myself with work but by late afternoon, I could feel fear creeping in when I came up against moments of idleness.
What was I so afraid of? Being left with my own thoughts. Because sometimes, often times, my thoughts are negative, and I don’t like the way my inner critic makes me feel. Maybe I wouldn’t be so afraid of myself if we didn’t live in such a perfectionistic culture.
The dominant narrative right now is that we should be confident and feel good, not only in our roles—at work; as parents, partners and friends—but in our thoughts. We’re living in the era of self-care and self-love; what sociologists Shani Orgad and Rosalind Gill call “confidence culture,” whereby…