Maybe We Do Need People After All
Now that being alone is going mainstream; I think I want out.
When it comes to being alone, I consider myself an expert. Growing up mixed race and parentified young, the only place I felt a sense of belonging was within myself. I had friends and boyfriends, but always being decades ahead of other people my age made me prefer to retreat inward. When my mom died unexpectedly, I leaned even further into the only thing I’d known to work in the past—being by myself. Friends who felt bad for me eventually stopped texting, romantic relationships fizzled out or could barely launch, and I fell into a job that entailed me spending almost all my time alone. Gradually, I let myself fall deeper and deeper into isolation.
You might think this sounds sad, but to me it was empowering, liberating even. Being alone made me feel safe. Meghan Riordan Jarvis, MA, LCSW, tells me the instinct to isolate is a common response to loss. “Whether by avoiding another attachment or leaning into self-sufficiency, it’s protecting you from disappoint…