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It's Okay To Regret Having Kids

It's Okay To Regret Having Kids

Contemplating the unlived life of my mom. Plus, how to dress mindfully and the best snacks of 2021.

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Anna Haines
Jan 16, 2022
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An overlay of the same spot at the beach pre- and post-mom’s death ©Anna Haines

It’s been over a decade since I’ve been awake in the mornings in my apartment. The light hits differently before noon. Mom was a night owl too, and so if I was ever up in the morning, I was tip-toeing around so as to not wake her. I find myself instinctively doing this again, as if she’s still here. What was once her room is now mine, and still, I expect to see her body—a giant lump under the blankets; to hear her deep inhalations that bridged on snoring because she was a smoker—whenever I pass by the bedroom.

This is the strange thing about grief, the more time that accumulates between her being here and not being here, the more I long for her physical presence. I thought grief was supposed to get easier with time, but I think it gets harder. It’s like my naive, child brain thinks she’s gone away for a little while, and she’s just taking a really, really long time to come home.

There’s a common…

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